Gossip Dog here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of the dog world's elite. And who am I? That's something I'll never tell. You know you love me xoxo
Missed me? Well I've had a little holiday and been on many adventures since the last episode. But I'm back now and ready to have an opinion on everything.
The Keith Lemon (aka Leigh Francis) 'incident' has been and gone. But giving a puppy as a prize on a TV programme will no doubt be something that haunts him for the rest of his career. Lemonade? What a fizzer. And as for ITV's judgement, well let's hope that they bottle it next time someone comes up with such a tasteless excuse for entertainment. On the positive side, Offcom is now investigating the ITV1 show. Gossip Dog pants with excitement as to their findings. Will it be a moral victory for those members of the public who were so incensed by the lack of ethics these programme makers displayed that they complained? I count myself as one who put paw to paper!
Slightly off subject but still worthy of a juicy bite is the opening ceremony of the London Olympics. A green and pleasant land complete with 70 living farm creatures at its heart. Danny Boyle is now right up there with Keith Lemon in terms of using animals for their entertainment value. What most decent, thinking, people will rightly view as atrocious animal exploitation.
Well Gossip Dog phoned the RSPCA and DEFRA the day after the unveiling, for their comments. The RSPCA said they were happy with the welfare advice they had given the organisers. And that they would have a few RSPCA people there on the day - just in case. Just in case? Meanwhile DEFRA refused to speak to anyone who wasn't officially from the press and suggested I write to them. Still waiting for what will no doubt be a meat-free response. Don't you just love those standard generic form letters?
I asked the RSPCA what would happen if one of these sentient creatures died from heart failure in front of the world on live TV as a result of the stress experienced from the noise that nearly 100,000 screaming people will undoubtedly make. The loud music. The flashing lights of cameras. Well, he said and I quote "I see your point, but I can't comment on that."
It is deplorable that this is being allowed to happen. These poor farm creatures are being forced to endure horrendous stress for the sake of human entertainment. It's nothing more than an open air animal circus. And it is quite frankly, shameful. It's also hypocrisy. Where are the foxes being chased and ultimately ripped to shreds by hounds? Where is the badger baiting? Where is the hare corsing? The tractors spreading slurry. Oh, and let's not forget...where are the battery puppy farm sheds?
Just what era is Danny Boyle living in? And if he thinks that the farming community are overjoyed about it, he should take a peek at some of their online forums. They aren't too bothered about the welfare side of things, but they are pretty irate that this is how the public will view the harsh realities of farming in the UK in 2012. Still there will be those moronic individuals who will be watching both here and abroad and thinking "oh how loverly and how charrrrrming". If I was a cat I'd be coughing up a particularly large fur ball right now and spitting it right in the London Olympic Committee's faces.
Danny Boyle is of course Irish. Which leads me on to the next subject of lunacy. Lennox. The Labrador/American Bulldog cross. Let's look at the players here. For the prosecution: Belfast City Council, former BCC dog warden Sandie Lightfoot who started this whole murder by measurement scandal, and of course High Court Judges who would it appears be more at home on the panel of the XFactor than in Chambers.
For the defence (taken from the Lennox Campaign website): "When Lennox was a puppy his owners had him neutered, licensed, insured, DNA registered, Pet Safe registered and micro chipped and although the Belfast City Council have issued a dog licence for Lennox for the last five years and continue to do so today, the Council now find the need to class him as a Pit Bull type dog and murder him. On the day Lennox was ripped from his family home the Belfast City Council issued his owner with a warrant of seizure which was incorrectly addressed and was for another location, furthermore the Council used the ADBA Inc (American Dog Breeders Association Incorporated) breed standards guide to help identify Lennox as possible Pit Bull type. It has now become clear that the Council used this ADBA breed standards guide illegally breaking international and Berne copyright laws as Belfast City Council have never been authorised by the ADBA to use the copyrighted breed standards guide in full or derived version. Since Lennox's seizure the ADBA have issued the Belfast City Council with 'Cease & Desist' orders due to the Council's unauthorised continued use of ADBA material."
Well, there you are. A loving family pet that's fine for 5 years and cared for by clearly the most competent, honourable and responsible family and then 'bang'. Despite no complaints ever made about him, despite no aggression ever shown by him - even when goaded and provoked in shocking fashion by 'behaviourists' while in the BCC pound, this pour soul continues to languish at their discretion. What puzzles me is how a Labrador cross can be called a Pit Bull type despite not having any Pitt Bull DNA. So anyway, today it's Lennox, tomorrow it'll be your Labrador Rotty, GSD, Ridgeback crosses. Unfortunately we already know the damage that this stereotyping does to breeds, given the media's constant sensationalism against Staffies. But don't worry, we have it on extremely good authority that the next breed of 'choice' for those who caused the whole 'status' symbol gang mentality problems for Staffies are now turning to the Jack Russell! Yes you heard it here first. And anyone who has ever been bailed up by a few snappy JRs will know that they are not to be trifled with. Perhaps in years to come all we will be left with is handbag dogs who don't remember how to walk. What a world?
To close I'd like to leave you with some Gossip Dog definitions to ponder on.
Question: What do you call a person who buys a puppy from a classified ad because it can be delivered to their door:
Question: What do you call a person who buys a puppy from a pet shop despite being told that they come from Welsh puppy farms?
Question: What do you call a person who buys a puppy from a pet shop or from a classified, has never seen the parents or where the puppy was brought up but then discovers their new bundle of joy has a major health problem and wants a replacement?
Question: What happens to 'faulty' puppies who are returned for a brand spanking new replacement puppy?
Answer: Imagine the cruellest way to end a puppy's life and you still won't even be close.
Until next time... xoxo