So you're back for another sniff? Good for you! It seems Episode One of this unfolding saga travelled around the world to 10 countries in a heartbeat. So many dog lovers, so little time...
And speaking of sniffing, Part Two sees Dame J inviting more comment from the breeding and showing world, and as expected her friends and foes alike have been only to happy to oblige.
Able Mabel, bless her, is pitted against Pringham's Rockstar (the Top Mail Bulldog 2010 and Best of Breed for Crufts 2011). Some can't see any difference between the two (Specsavers anyone?). Some prefer the looks of the Crufts champ and are distinctly agitated about Mabel's top line. Are her legs too long? How old is she? And so on and so on. To be honest, Gossip Dog is just happy that Mabel can breathe. And hey, another bonus, she even has a tail! You see the problem with genetic experimentation, which is what breeding is really all about folks, is that if you change things that didn't need changing in the first place you're going to get slapped on the wrist by mother nature. And you know what they say about the fury of a woman scorned...
Speaking of mother nature, how glorious has the weather been of late? It's like dog heaven out there. Lots of frolicking and playing in the sunshine. I wonder how Liz is? No not diamond jubilee Liz, the other one. Well, the grass is short and dry so perhaps her award-winning little paws will have been allowed out of the inner sanctum for a quick stretch. Here's hoping.
Not that I'm labelling anyone here you understand, but thinking about the other Liz for a moment, isn't it remarkable how having a royal warrant can go to an organisation's head? And in the minds of poor, unquestioning, slow Joe public that emblem used to mean all was right with the world.
Now that's got me thinking. Everyone's searching for the perfect antidote - sorry, I mean alternative - to the KC. So perhaps it's also time for an alternative RSPCA? It could still be called the RSPCA, but the word 'Royal' could be replaced with the word 'Real'.
Just imagine it. The Real Society For the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals would be an organisation where you could phone up and report your concerns about the welfare of an animal and someone would actually do something about it. Even if it was just a little thing, like a starving moggy that you found in your garden hedge. Or a pony that was left in a field without access to water. You know, those everyday animal welfare events that don't warrant a herd of TV cameras and journalists showing up to cover it. No big media opportunities to drool over. Just big differences to the lives of animals in need. A novel approach I know. But I'm getting all tingly just thinking about it. So, any takers?
Meanwhile our queen of the airwaves, St. Bev has been doing the dogs proud again. Surely it's only a matter of time before she twigs to the potential for DT radio?
Nothing breathtaking to report on the CA front. But I will admit to a brief titter thinking that these brave new pioneers of pugnaciousness may one day have Trustees. That would mean CATs talking about dogdom, and we all know where that would lead. Saucer of milk anyone?
Across the Severn Bridge and into sleepy hollow, or Wales as I sometimes call it, something stirs. People are getting nervous. Dare I use the 'C' word? For those of a nervous disposition, look away now. I'm talking about 'Councils'. Yes, the rumours are true. It seems that certain members of certain councils have personal interests in puppy farming. Shock, horror? Not really. They hand out dog breeding licences there the way others hand out jelly beans. And it seems nobody can stop them. Certainly not the Welsh Government who, despite knowing what goes on, don't want to interfere with the running of Local Authorities. It seems that the lunatics are running the asylum in sleepy hollow after all.
But back on the right side of the bridge we can all breathe a huge sigh of relief, safe in the knowledge that the KC only registers litters from breeders in Wales who are licensed by... oh dear, the councils.
Words are such interesting and powerful things aren't they? So while we're vaguely on the subject of animal welfare, I will leave you with a question on which to ponder until Part Three:
If you believe that animals have the right to experience the five freedoms of the animal welfare act, does that make you an animal rights advocate?